the danielle

through all of this i am losing myself, and i cannot let the situation with my father consume so completely that there is no trace of my former self. at the end of all of this i need to stay myself. my father as a result of, basically, a variety of brain traumas has become mean. he is no longer meaner, he is mean. though it is not his fault, it does not change the fact that it hurts. i have give in completely to being there for my father 95% of the time. this is causing me to lose myself, and i am scared. i am so scared that his anger builds inside of me and this will effect my relationships with the people i care about. the meanness is not the only thing i see changing in myself. i am becoming self consumed. when i am outside of the home situation, when i am with people other then family members, i feel myself focusing conversation towards myself, and not pay as much attention to others. i am never allowed to think about my needs when i am at home, so i over compensate with friends. i am becoming all the things i hate about my father now, i am need to stop. i need to stay danielle, no matter what, i cannot lose myself.