the telephone

i am learning to have a better relationship with my telephone. i use to dread having to talk to anyone on the phone about anything other then making plans to meet up and actually talk.

i have upped the phone calls with the family to almost everyday. i found the phone conversation with my dad will dictate my attitude for the rest of the day. a good day for my dad will equal a good day for me. today was a good day. sometimes i think the conversation with my dad will dictate other things as well. if my dad is having a bad day, i find myself hitting every red light on the way to the grocery store, or i am fifteen minutes late to every class. i know i can manage my own fate with less phone calls, but then i am only calling on really really bad days.

the problem will the increased number of calls per week is that i am constantly reminded that my father is not the same person he was before the surgery, and before the radiation. my dad and i use to have a nice father daughter witty banter. that is something that is no longer possible, and i find myself missing that aspect of my dad every time i hang up the phone. i never thought that at my, and his, age i would be unable to talk to my dad on the phone. i use to be frustrated by the sunday phone calls with my parents, now i would give anything to get to have just one more of those phone calls.